Saturday, June 30, 2007

Florida Testing Questions

These things are ridiculous. I just read an entire paragraph of complicated facts, diagrammed out everyone's relationship to each other in property dealings, and when I get to the call of the question?

How many years of continued possession of premises are statutorily required in Florida for adverse possession?

I really should read the call first, but 99.9% of the time it's a waste of time.

I survived


It wasn't so bad... I did find myself losing focus a lot in the afternoon. I'd do that re-reading questions thing where the meaning of the words never quite goes in your brain. Plus, a kid in my vicinity had that shaky leg thing that made the whole table vibrate. I hate that.

The best part of the test, of course, was the end! I went straight to a bar/restaurant for some beer and unhealthy food. It's so sad these days how hard it is to make non-law conversation. Even when you bump into someone you haven't seen in a week, it goes very much like this:

Me: Oh hey, how are you?
Friend: You know...
Me: Yeah...
Friend: And you?
Me: The same... Anything new or exciting going on?
Friend: No... just the usual.

Do we get our lives back when we're finished?

Friday, June 29, 2007

Wish me Luck

Today it's my turn to take the practice MBE. I'm so pumped for 6 hours of multiple choice questions. Nothing like some intense Q&A to get my adrenaline flowing. And what's even more fun? Forecast of sun today. I love couping up inside with nervous energy when the sun is shining outside! I mean, what kind of person would want to be outside with fresh air? There are some crazy people in this world...

If I survive, I'll let you know my take on it.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Email I Just Received

How many times have you asked yourself the inevitable question: to leave or not to leave? Here's introducing a fantastic e-book - LawCrossing's Guide to Alternative Careers that'll make you realize why you can venture out of a legal career without any pangs of guilt for discarding your precious and hard-earned J.D.

Sweet - It's not too late to get out now, and I won't feel guilty!! Yeah right...

Losing Duffy

Friend: It's sad, I'm kind of going to miss Duffy.
Friend: This bar stuff is making me too emotional; I feel like I'm losing a friend.

I'm No Expert

Yes, I write a blog about studying for the bar. No, I don't know how you should be studying each day and what scores you should be expecting. I only write here to complain and point out the humor in these generally humorless days. My only advice to you is to not take advice from people like me.

Alternatively, if you have funny stories or links, feel free to share. I know we can all use an extra smile these days.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

It's Been A Long Day

Okay, we had majorly long class today... and it was horrible (people were walking out left and right). After class, I had to meet with a professor about more brain intensive stuff. Now I'm doing my homework, and I've called the rest of the night off for some quality time with my closest friend, Mr. Cabernet.


  • (1) Property lecturer cooed about her upcoming trip to Las Vegas. I wanted to reach into the television and slap her. That should definately be on the "Top Ten List of Things Not to Say to Someone Studying for the Bar"

  • (2) Another property lecturer assured all bar takers that they wouldn't be doing well on the property section. He followed that comment up by noting that the answers are glaringly "obvious" sitting on the page, and our only job was to circle them. Thanks... Thanks...

  • (3) I made the most brilliant comment of my life: "I think in my mind." To which my friend replied, "You do a lot of thinking up there?" Laughing, I said, "Apparently not... but when I do think, that's where it occurs." Really, I'm getting dumber by the day. I'll need diapers when it's time to take the test.

  • (4) And then to round out the day, the property lecture said, "Wasn't this fun? Isn't this terrific?" Don't joke with me... your humor is not appreciated.


I woke up this morning to a message from a friend who has made the ultimate discovery. Link. We're going to hypnotize our anxiety away! Boasting "a 100% success rate with students sitting for the BAR Exam," I think the odds are in our favor. Too bad she's on the other coast, but all you California bar exam takers... you can thank my friend for the tip later ;)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Life Ain't Easy

So I think people studying for the bar should get the equivalent of handicap passes for the three months leading up to the exam. It would serve the dual function of (1) warning others of our volatility and (2) giving us a 'get out of jail free' card.

I mention this, because I keep encountering situations that are more difficult than they need to be. People just don't seem willing to reason with me! Hello! I can't handle your bureaucracy right now, and if you press me an inch further, I might sit down on the floor of your hallway, kick my legs in the air, and bawl like a baby.

I'm serious.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Oh God We're Sad

Me: so... did you know that cranberries were harvested by flooding?

Friend: no, lol. really? what are they before flooding?

Me: During the growing season cranberry beds are not flooded, but are irrigated regularly to maintain soil moisture. Beds are flooded in the fall to facilitate harvest

Friend: weird

Me: Cranberries are harvested in the fall when the fruit takes on its distinctive deep red color. This is usually in late September and into October. To harvest cranberries the beds are flooded with six to eight inches of water. A harvester is driven through the beds to remove the fruit from the vines. Harvested cranberries float in the water and can be corraled into a corner of the bed and conveyed or pumped from the bed.

Friend: what made you look that up? lol

Me: I saw a commercial for cranberry juice and they were standing in water

Friend: oh, lol. that's interesting, i didnt know that

Me: I know - now unzip and vomit it out, you need room for corporations... if only law was as fascinating as cranberries

Friend: lol. oh god, im not having any fun lol

Me: not even learning about cranberries?

Friend: haha. i have to admit, that's prolly the most fun i've had in a while

Me: hahaha

Me: oh god we're sad

Note: The cranberry info is from wikipedia

Holy Shit

To top it all off, I just read another blog that made me realize that one month from today, in exactly 14 minutes, I'll be finished with the bar exam... That means I've got less than one month to prepare myself. I'm going to go crawl into the fetal position and cry now.

I just realized

If I fail the bar, everyone will know, because my name won't be posted on the Florida bar website as an active attorney. I know, I know, there are only 5 people in the world who would bother to look, but still... Can't I just fail in peace? I had it all planned out. I'd just take it next year, because I've got another year of school left. No one would know, because I'll be in a different city and I'd be sitting with a lot of the other kids who postponed it until they were completely through with education. My friends and I have picked out the tutor of our choice and everything!

So much for that... if law school proved anything, it's that there are sneaky bitches who will seek and elicit these things.

Anyhow, another annoyance: Our homework today says to do two essays out of a certain book. The book has several types of essays, but only one type of essay that we've actually covered in class - torts. We haven't covered the rest of the subjects in there. I don't know if we're supposed to try these essays cold as a means of some education technique I'm unaware of, or if they've made a typo. Regardless, I'm not doing the assignment. I'm doing two essays from another book where I've got more than just torts to choose from. Take that, bar prep!

It's been a long day. I got up at 6 to hit the gym before class. I've never used the gym at my apartment building before. Everything goes as planned until it's time to leave. I discover that the door is locked. There's not another keypad for me to enter my code, there's only a switch, a timer, and a daunting looking red button. I check out all the other doors in the room - no exits. Covered in sweat, and not wanting the maintenance man to have to come rescue me, I place one hand on the handle to the exit and hover the other hand over the red button that's either going to let me out, set some kind of alarm off, or launch a missile on a small country.

Needless to say I made it out. Who would make the button a big red over-sized looking alarm button?! How about green for go? Better yet, since all other doors are labeled "push" or "pull" couldn't they have a sign there? It would just have saved that last .001% of my ego that I still had in tact... The part that said, "You may not be a smart girl, but you know what love is how to exit a building."

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Monkey see; monkey do...

Here's my most recent horoscope:

Leo: You need to do some work on a project that seems like it's never going to be completed. Push a little harder and you'll be surprised what you can get done.

Since I'd like to get this over with in July, I'll stick with my horoscope over the other blogger's horoscope. Anyhow, I think the signs are calling me out on my slacking and telling me to bust some ass.


Law School in a Box

What on earth?

I Fall to Pieces

So everyone else has posted about it one time or another, and now it's my turn.

I'm literally falling to pieces, and it's got to be the stress. I keep breaking out - not bad - just enough for my skin to let me know it isn't down with this bar exam thing. I'm more absent minded about all things non-law-related (missing a turn while driving, forgetting to go to the bank, etc.). I'm way more emotional - bring on the tears. I eat all the time, and I carry around ibuprofen for the inevitable headaches.

Wow... in the words of the incarcerated heiress, Paris Hilton, "that's hot!"

Friday, June 22, 2007

Moment of Silence

Take the time you're reading this post, to think of the kids in Miami who are sitting the full day practice exam today.

Edit: I got word that 98% of the test takers survived. However, 20% died of alcohol poisoning that evening.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


Civil procedure in one day... I mean all of it! He just packed it into our brains, and I've spent the rest of the day trying to keep it in before it pops out my ears or eye sockets. It's consisted mainly of walking around like a zombie forgetting to do my chores. Like a friend of mine said, "Common sense can go out the window - I need more room in there for criminal procedure!" Thank goodness we don't have class tomorrow!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I was just getting back to work...

I'm going post-crazy, but I just had to! This was the first sentence of a hypo (I haven't even read the whole thing - let's hope it's not a bad tort):

Pam and Dot were roommates in a dormitory at State University.

I guess that makes me "Dot" and since my name starts with "D," I think I'll be torting you, Pam!

Bar Movie Update

So I had mentioned earlier a movie about the bar. Well I was browsing around and someone had posted the trailer. For your viewing pleasure:

"I CAN'T LEARN ANYMORE" - so true...

I changed my mind

That lecturer who I came around to, sent me back around the other corner on the second day. Those hypos, while funny, were just toooo long winded. If he was doing stand up comedy - sure... you gotta set the scene. But when it's 1pm and I'm counting down until I can have lunch, I can do without the extras. **

So anyhow - we had a really horrible lecturer for the first hour today. It's this guy who everyone in the state raves about - he visits all the schools annually. When he did an overview at my school, I thought he was great, but these "substantive" lectures with him are painful.

We have these outlines with all the differences between federal and state law organized by subject. He takes each rule, puts the text directly into a black box, and then under it, puts a portion of a previous essay question from a bar exam. Then he stands up in front of us, and reads them... really fast (mispronouncing simple words, misspeaking, and having to point out typos). He doesn't give us the entire essay, so we miss a lot of context, and he doesn't bother to answer the essay snippet. I think he thinks that the "illustrations" will help us issue spot or something. But let's get real. When we're studying the law of dog bites - it really ain't that hard to spot the questions asking about it. The law of sexual battery? Consider it spotted. Now if he wanted to answer the questions, or point out a special nuance, go for it. But you don't need to read the statute that says "you're liable if your dog bites someone" and then read part of a fact pattern, and say "This issue comes up with a fact pattern like the following: 'Sam's dog bit Timmy.'" Thanks... no really, thanks...

** Note: I could be changing my mind just because I had a bad day. This bar study stuff is pretty stressful, and, as my boyfriend will openly attest, I'm hot and cold at the flip of a switch.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Free Advice

I was just reminded about a comment made by one of our lecturers... At the end he told us a test taking tip and followed it with - "... just some free advice for you guys."

Ummm... free? Really? Did he mean free AFTER the $2,700?

Monday, June 18, 2007

Tortious Conduct

Torts... I don't remember a thing about torts except that the language was memorable:

  • "respondeat superior"
  • "attractive nuisance"
  • "res ipsa loquitur"
  • "volenti non fit injuria"
The list goes on - but don't ask me what they mean. It was in this attitude that I started today's lecture. I didn't want to like it - and I knew it was one of the big six. The lecture started, and the man was soooooooooooo sloooooooooow and it seemed like we were covering crim law over again. But despite my attitude, the lecturer got me... I like him! He made me laugh harder than any of the other lecturers with his (overly) descriptive hypos complete with voices like I remember from the story times of my childhood.

Regardless - it was exhausting, and after two hours at the library... I'm back at home for a break. I stepped on the scale last night, and after I came to, I decided there was another task to tackle this summer. So I got a pass to the gym. This definitely won't be a summer where I have time to be bored.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Happy Father's Day

I write this, not only to celebrate the day, but also as a reminder to the under-informed bar studiers to call their papas. Luckily, I have a habit of calling home on Sundays, and my mom gave me the word. I had completely forgotten. I gave my father his father's day present when he came down to visit for my graduation a month ago, so there was nothing on my dining room table to remind me.

Anyhow - I know you're shoulder deep in MBE MCs, but take five and call your papa!

Saturday, June 16, 2007


I was just thinking about this video I found a couple years ago. It was back in my phase where I didn't like teachers to know who I was so I wouldn't get called on in class. I waited until I got my grade back from the teacher to pass it along to him. His response? "The video was just OK, substantively speaking, but pretty good, musically speaking. Thanks for sending it along--I did chuckle."

Without further adieu: Hearsay Exceptions

I discovered it here. The original poster explains:

My Evidence professor offered extra credit to anyone who did something creative within the realm of evidence...poems, stories, songs, movies, etc., the more creative, the more points.

The maker of this fabulous piece of work is a 2L who was extremely nice to let me post this here after I totally contacted him blind, introduced myself on email, and told him about the blog and how great I thought his movie was.


Friday, June 15, 2007

Death and Bar Review

It's been a full day of wills and trusts. If law school hadn't already trained me to laugh at death, bar review is trying its hardest. We've got people dying during poker matches and shuffle board games... but let's look at a more realistic scenario...

Sally married her high school sweetheart Dwayne. In a three year lapse of judgment, Sally and Dwayne decided to attend law school together. Two months after graduation, they were found dead surrounded by a myriad of bar review books. There is insufficient evidence that Sally and Dwayne died otherwise than simultaneously. At the time of their death, they shared a home in Seaside, Florida as joint tenants with right of survivorship. Sally is survived by her mother and Dwayne is survived by his brother. Who takes the house?

Sine Wave

My life has been a constant sine wave of caffeine crests and sugar-crash troughs, with the occasional penisy blog post thrown in as I try to lull myself to sleep.

Well said! I couldn't say it better myself! (Link) And on that note, I've got to run to class.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

I'm in the money!

My bar study loan arrived today. A month late - but I'll take what I can get!! I'm even going to be able to pay my car insurance!! Awesome!

In bar related news, today wasn't so bad. It was a review of a class I had already taken. It got me thinking that probably more classes should be required in law school. Most people take evidence, and I couldn't imagine graduating without it, but it's not a requirement. I never intend to be inside a courtroom, but on the same token, I feel like I couldn't be called an attorney without that class under my belt.

Speaking of which - tell me if what I've heard is true. I recently heard that you earn the title "lawyer" upon graduating law school, but it isn't until you pass the bar that you can be called an "attorney." I've always used the two interchangeably, preferring the word "lawyer." I just thought "attorney" was more high class.

Anyway, I better go - there are 138 evidence questions with my name on them!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

What Lies Ahead

I stumbled upon this earlier. If the video below didn't warn me of what was ahead, that sure did. Poor girl.


It was Florida in the summer and the expression hot as balls means nothing until you have lived here. Sweat and heat surround your body forming a plastic casing that makes it difficult to breathe and impossible to avoid. So I thought little of the constant itching annoyance under there. I was in a generally irritated state at that point knowing I was devoting an entire summer to studying the laws of Florida.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Don't Let Me Get To This Point!

Poor Starving Law Professors

And we think we have it bad? I may have been living off of easy mac for the past month, while my bar loan was hung up in processing, and signed on for another 20k loan for the next year, but man - those law profs have it rough!

Are you kidding me? You have GOT to be kidding me. That was my reaction as I read a hypo in my bar prep book. A teacher that I used to have lectures for the bar course. We always joke about how loaded he must be - he takes trips to France every winter and doesn't come back until after the semester has started (and we've missed the add/drop period). I don't know if he thought it was humorous or if he's just deluded, but he included a hypothetical similar to the following:

John is a lowly law professor whose only side income comes from lecturing for a bar prep company. Because of his dire economic circumstances, it didn't cross John's mind to disclaim his interest in the inheritance.

Give me a break. Reality check, anyone?

Monday, June 11, 2007

Heavy Eyes

Our lectures this morning were really long, and for some reason, all I wanted to do was fall asleep... like, worse than normal. You know... it's a sad day when you're so pushed for time that you find yourself driving through traffic on your "lunch break" downing a sandwich with your free hand, so you can get your errands in and still get some studying in before you go totally brain dead. I'm starting to think that people studying for the bar are probably the #2 cause of car accidents nationwide, second only to drunk drivers (that's us after we pass the bar).

Sunday, June 10, 2007


Okay, I couldn't get anyone on the phone to whine too, so you guys are going to have to hear it - that's what you read for right?

So tonight's homework was to write an essay - we could pick from several. I finally open up my options to find that they all range from 1980-1988 examples. Hello publishers! Anyone heard of any Supreme Court cases that have come out since then? I mean, couldn't you at least draft some relevant questions? Because now I don't know if my answers don't conform to the models because I'm wrong or because your answers are old (wishful thinking, but still!).

So I suck it up, and pick an essay. I'm done in 15 minutes instead of the typical hour, because it really doesn't seem like there's any meat to the essay. I decide to check my two-paragraph "essay" against the model answer. What do I see? They've cited case names and precise locations in the Constitution for all of their propositions. Every professor has told us that we don't need to memorize those, and if that's the case with the bar exam too, why do you include those in there? You're freaking me out, bar prep! If it's just so that I can look up the case, then maybe stick a little footnote in at the end with a list of cases or something. These cases don't even have citations, so if I was curious what they said, I'd be hunting all afternoon.

Ugh... oh well, glad that's over.

On a personal note, the visit from the fam was great! They got into town around 8pm, and we went out for mexican food and margaritas. By the end of the night we were all red faced and laughing. Good times! We ate breakfast this morning, and they were out of my hair by 9:30. Perfect refreshing visit... ...until I had to do that stupid essay.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

I'm a real boy!

Friday, I got to experience life again. I went to lectures in the morning and then straight to the library with a friend. We studied solid until 7pm. Then we met up with two other friends for drinks and sushi dinner. Now THAT's the life! We chatted about life, love, and our futures... only minimal mention of the present horrors. I was surprised at how quickly I was able to acclimate back into society.

I'm working hard this morning too, because my family is going to be stopping by for dinner. It's a 7 hour drive for them, but they're already making half of the trip, so they linked on another 3.5 hours to come to my house and stay the night. I'm hoping that it will be relaxing, and serve as motivation for me to be really good today.

I feel human again - and I'm savoring it for this brief moment.

Thursday, June 7, 2007


A friend of mine got a job! This is great news - maybe someday I will too!! Anyways, I'm very happy for him - he's worked the hardest out of all of my friends on job applications and driving across the state twice a week for interviews, etc. Bravo!

Also, I think we just passed a big hurdle in bar review. My least favorite subject (and the worst lecturer to date) is finito! Whew!

I came to a realization today. At the start of review classes, I was amazed at how these lecturers could fit two semesters worth of material into a 6 hour block, but then I realized that most of them were just humoring us. Really, they could probably fit two semesters worth of material into 3 hours, except because they take pity on us, they repeat everything twice and even three times. No joke - when I blink out of my lecture daze scribbling down notes - it feels like a broken record.

But hey - I'm not going to complain! I need it three times, just to write it down, and if they'd say it a fourth time, I might even listen or understand it!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Intense AND Boring

Today was excruciating! I think everyone agreed that this guy - try as he might - was dry as dust. His jokes were painful, and his demeanor reminiscent of Woody Allen. I could barely hold my head up, and I'd rather blame the lecture than my increasing inability to sleep at night.

The panic stage has passed - but I'm sure it'll come again as review winds down and the inevitable approaches. I think most of us have gotten into a routine, and resigned ourselves to being a week behind on everything.

While my posts seem a little bland of late, the subject of bar study must be fairly interesting. Check this link. A movie? Seriously?

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Checking In

Nothing really exciting today, but I feel obligated to post to let you know that I made it through another day and didn't impale myself on a highlighter or anything like that.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Monday, Monday - Can't trust that day

Today was yet another wonderful day spent in lectures. In fact, we were having so much fun at our bar review that we stayed an extra hour! Man... we know how to party.

Today was classic. For starters, our main lecturer was Professor Whitebread. Let me preface my comments by saying that he was an excellent and entertaining lecturer. But come on! His name is "Whitebread"! Yes, I'm in 4th grade, but you had to have seen him. He had on a bow tie! My favorite part about him, was the he pronounced "not" as "nut."

Conspiracy does NUT merge.

Nut merge? Haha... well, at least it's one thing I won't forget on the exam. Thanks P. Whitebread!

Edit: Oh and yes, yes, yes! A friend reminded me - he acted out bestiality for us! Almost as good as that time that my high school biology teacher acted out turtle sex. Anyhow, I'd love to stay and chat, but I just can't tear myself away from this stuff.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

I paid HOW much?

This is what I paid the big bucks for: "Although not a source of law . . . , [this item] may be the single most important source of . . . law."

Just enjoying my lazy Sunday morning, sipping coffee and perusing an outline. This is the life!

Saturday, June 2, 2007

It's weekend!!


You don't get weekends when you're studying for the bar exam. I should've expected this. First semester of law school, one of the professors gives a speech to the entire incoming class regarding how law school exams work. The most memorable point being: You don't get Thanksgiving. I remember him now, "Your mother probably isn't going to understand, but you don't get to enjoy this holiday - regardless of the family obligations." And he was right! My last Thanksgiving was spent in an abandoned Hooters with 3 other law students. We took an hour to eat some wings - and yes, we really went to Hooters for the wings, it was three chicks and a gay guy - and we were back to the library.

I've mourned my Thanksgivings, but now my summer weekends? This is TOO much. People studying for the bar, we need to band together to take back our weekends!


Anyhow, I've been enjoying this first weekend of the bar prep course chilling with some MC questions. For a break, I called home. My sister, an attorney who took the bar 3 years ago, is home visiting my parents. We spoke, and I joked about how much fun bar review is, that every class we break open a case of beer and have a big celebration. Her response? "Oh... well... that's good, my classes weren't nearly that fun." People... my sister PASSED the bar exam on her first attempt.

There's hope for all of us.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Day 4

We're four days into the course, and I just realized that "readings" aren't listed under the "homework" column on our schedule. I had been feeling like I wasn't so far behind, because I had been to all the classes, and today was the first day we were supposed to be doing actual "homework." I was checking out our homework problems, when I noticed that our schedule has an entire SEPARATE column for readings... What? Do these people not think that reading 75 pages of condensed facts and trying to memorize them doesn't count as "homework"? Actually, I think the proper questions is: how did I graduate law school and not be able to read a schedule chart?

Ugh! (You'll be hearing that a lot out of me.) So about an hour ago I thought I'd give some practice problems a shot, figuring they'd be easier than trying to make up two weeks worth of readings that I just discovered. WRONG! If we're not going to classify readings as homework, then we shouldn't classify these problems as homework either - they're technically "reading," and therefore not "homework." I mean - the fact patterns are an entire column of text (and sometimes more), such that only one question fits on a page. Until today, I had been thinking "33-34 questions an hour? Cake!" If you remember that me and reading go together like toothpaste and sesame chicken, you'll realize how screwed I just realized I am. I started those practice questions an hour ago? I've done 5. F-I-V-E.

... but I have watched half of "A Day Without a Mexican," and I call that an accomplishment. Maybe I should turn the TV off ... nah!